On Tuesday, when we met for worship planning, Matt asked a routine question, “where are you going with the text?” I shared about the tension, the frustration, the blaming, the distress and anger in Psalm 13. I was excited to preach about voicing our anger in prayer!

How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long will I be left to my own wits,
agony filling my heart? Daily?
How long will my enemy keep defeating me?
Look at me! Answer me,
My Lord my God!
Restore sight to my eyes or I will die,

I grew in church but I did not know you could address God like that. Did you know you can pray like that? We were told our prayers should be reverent, respectful, self-effacing, polite and nice.

It was Tuesday afternoon and my sermon was shaping up nicely with Bible verses and quotes ready to go. But Emma had a puzzled look on her face… she pointed out that this week’s sermon, already written liturgy, and corresponding intergenerational Sunday School lesson were about grief, not anger. “Lord, how long will I be left to my own wits,”? Why did I not better check Google Drive? Had I misread Psalm 13? Could a prayer filled with accusation and anger be a deep lament?

Wednesday night our youth presented a skit about Zacchaeus feeling so alone he climbed a tree to see Jesus because no one would make room for him. I asked the children how do you feel when people leave you out? They answered, “sad, hurt, confused, lonely, disappointed”, but one child answered “angry”. God made all of those feelings and that God is with us whatever we are feeling. Psychologists tell us that anger is part of our natural response to grief, along with Disbelief, Denial, Bargaining, Guilt, Despair, and ultimately Acceptance and Hope https://health.clevelandclinic.org/5-stages-of-grief The prayers in the Psalms are not always telling us what to do, but that our prayers are safe place to process what we feel with God, ourselves and the congregation. (Walter Brueggeman, “Lecture Two: Disorientation Faith in the Depths” youtube, with gratitude for Hunter Wade sharing the link)

How long will you forget me, Lord? Forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long will I be left to my own wits,
agony filling my heart? Daily?
How long will my enemy keep defeating me?
Look at me! Answer me, Lord my God!
Restore sight to my eyes!
Otherwise, I’ll die
I have trusted in your faithful love.
My heart will again rejoice in your salvation.
Yes, I will sing to the Lord
because God has been good to me.

Do you feel the Psalmist’s longing, grief, anger? Did you know it is safe to pour out your heart in prayer? “Look at me God, Answer me, how long will agony fill my heart? Walter Brueggeman notes that nice, polite, comfortable church folks may have never felt that kind of, “Look at me, God!” desperation. Brueggeman suggests that if we do not know Psalm 13’s desperation we might pray Psalm 13 in solidarity with those in desperate straits all over the world.

In her book “The Wounds They Are the Witness”, dean Yolanda Peirce reminds that Easter’s Risen Christ was triumphant, but still bore the wounds of the cross. “If even the wounds of the Risen Christ do not immediately close, why do we expect our own ones to heal in such a hurry? …This is a theology for the wounded… for those who are still healing and even for those not quite ready for healing. The Risen Christ consistently welcomes the doubting, the uncertain, and the grieving to touch and see that he is real and present here with us.” We can be whole, but have wounds. We can cry out “How Long” and still have faith.

Psalm 13 is the one of the shortest and simplest Psalms. There’s no context, no specifics, no names or circumstances given. We don’t know who the writer is, who the enemy is, or what the trouble is. It is a template that we write our own feelings of isolation, impatience with God or desperation for answers into.

How long, Lord?
Lord, How long will you hide?
God, How long will this agony last?
Lord, How long will this go on?
Look at me! Answer me, my God!
Restore sight to my eyes or I’ll die

The commentators point out that God does not speak in the Psalm, God never answers this prayer. I might have never noticed that without reading a commentary! In Psalm 13 God does not speak in the whirlwind, appear on the mountain top, send an angel, or even whisper in a still small voice. Psalm 13 is just a prayer crafted by somebody like you or me. The prayer remains unanswered. And yet the psalmist does the strangest thing, they do not walk away from God.

But I have trusted in your faithful love.
My heart will rejoice in your salvation.
Yes, I will sing to the Lord, because God has been good to me.

James Mayes writes “We are the anxious, the fearful, the dying, who cannot find God and yet simultaneously we are people of faith whose lives are somehow hidden in Christ”. Martin Luther, the original protestant, describes Psalm 13 as “the state in which Hope despairs and yet Despair hopes at the same time” (New Interpreters Bible Commentary)

Our grief is not a problem to solve! We cry “how long?” Because we have lost something beautiful, lovely, excellent, worthy of praise, healing, people, peace, decency, safety. Grief is part of the human story. Grief is part of Jesus‘s story.

When Jesus saw a church more concerned with church laws than someone’s wholeness, Jesus looked at the congregation “with anger, deeply grieved at their unyielding hearts”. (Mark 3) If Jesus grieved injustice perhaps we should too?

In John 11, John writes “When Jesus saw Mary crying and the crowd who had come with her crying, Jesus was deeply disturbed and troubled…(And) Jesus began to weep.” Greek scholars tell us the phrase “Jesus began to weep”, indicates that Jesus entered into a state of weeping that continues throughout that story. These are not a few tears If Jesus weeps with people who are weeping, perhaps we should too? (Romans 12 “weep with those who weep”)

In Luke 19, Jesus approaches Jerusalem, the national and religious capital. Luke shares “As Jesus came near and saw the city, Jesus wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! If Jesus wept over injustice, oppression and evil perhaps we should too. How long? How long? How long?

On Holy Thursday, Jesus told his closest friends “My soul is deeply grieved, even to death; remain here, and stay awake with me.” And going a little farther, he threw himself on the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, yet not my will Lord, but yours be done…” (Matthew 26) If Jesus can be overwhelmed hanging on by thread maybe it’s OK when we are too!

On the cross Jesus quotes “my God my God, why have you forsaken me”) which comes from Psalm 22, “I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast.”. If Jesus and the Psalmist can lodge complaints against God, maybe we can too.?

Jesus taught us “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5) Friends, somehow there is healing and naming the places of grief and brokenness in our life.

Psychologists tell a grief’s journey from shock and anger to acceptance and hope requires us to “Give ourselves permission to feel. Grieving is normal…But you can’t grieve if you don’t allow yourself the opportunity…. Your emotional health will be better served if you face your grief.” https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/7-steps-for-managing-grief-and-loss. “Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted”.

Psalm 13 teaches us we do not need to clean up our prayers making them comfortable and suitable for church. We can be brutally honest with God. We can hope amid our despair and pray will while asking how long. We can be honest with God, with ourselves and with our congregations and somehow healing comes. We can have faith and wounds.

How long, Lord?
How long?
How long?
How long?
Look at me!
Restore sight to my eyes!
I have trusted in your faithful love
I know my heart will sing again, but how long?

Oh dear ones, let us not be afraid to pray what is already in our hearts because “God knows what we need even before we ask.” (Matthew 6) Let be courageous enough to pray whatever we are feeling, because we know God cares for us. “God is with us wherever we go” was our Vacation Bible School Green Light Verse. Friends, God is with us amid our anger, grief, despair and rejoicing. May the love of God help us find the courage to prayerfully mourn, so that we might be comforted.

Amen